I checked my Facebook account my number sets at 71, many of which are family. I have lived in several places and in each community I had a number of friends so that total seems small for a lifetime of shared experiences. Toss out family and friends of family and you would be hard pressed to count 10 “friends” in my Facebook account. My number is way below the 245 reported by Pew research in February of this year for the number of friends each Facebook user averages. I have 112 followers on Twitter with just a couple of Facebook duplicates, and 45 connections on LinkedIn. Guess I am not a very social person unlike others I know. By comparison I have a friend on Facebook that has 1,970 “friends” granted he is an intelligent guy, writer, and professor. One person I follow on twitter has 22,122 followers (over 4 times the population of the town in which I live), she too is a writer.
I am way below average in the electronic friend department and I have thought on occasion I could use some help in this area. It would boost my self-image, help my career, and help make this blog a success. The more friends the better, right? A few weeks ago my wife taught me a little about friendship and the number required and it is not as big as you might think. As best and as briefly as I can I want to pass it on.
Her example came from the New Testament. There is a story repeated in three of the four Gospels (Mathew 9:2-8, Mark 2:1-12, Luke 5:18-26). The story says four friends took another friend to the roof of a house pried the roof loose and lowered their friend to Jesus. As DeAnn related it, these 4 friends did some hard work. With some determination they carted their friend to where Jesus was, then lifted him to the roof, pried the roof loose, and lowered their friend. Each task required some physically demanding work. In all accounts it is through the deliberate efforts and hard work of friends that a crippled man was healed. As DeAnn said “being a friend sometimes requires hard work.”
There will be times in your life when you need four friends willing to work hard for you, with you, to do for you what you cannot or will not do, was her point. Being a friend can be inconvenient and full of hard work. DeAnn challenged our local Church saying she needed four hard working friends for one particular concern of hers.
Last night for some reason I was reminded of another Biblical example of friendship. David and Jonathan, David commanded armies but in Jonathan he had a friend that had his back, a friend that protected him even when circumstances made that task very difficult. There will be times when you need a friend that can be trusted, a friend that will not betray you for any reason, a friend that will keep you from harm, a friend that will do something hard on your behalf, even at great cost. You will need one loyal friend that will sacrifice their comfort for your safety, their position and stature for yours, or their wealth on your behalf.
I have asked a few friends for favors, but the two examples above go beyond any favor, or just mere kindness. Then it hit me… as nice as it would be to have such friends, am I one of four to anyone? Do I ever stand as just one who has anyone’s back?
I like Facebook for some things, sharing stories with people I admire, love, or for which I hold fond memories. I think though Facebook has weakened the meaning of the word friend. A friend isn’t someone I used to know, isn’t someone that wishes me well, likes my last post, retweets me, or even served as a true friend years ago. A friend is someone here today… working.
“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend….”
Don’t know how many friends I need, but I pray I can learn to be one…
David
