I must start this blog with a sincere apology to our pastor, Larry Borthwick. He is a faithful talented shepherd of our small congregation, he is a good teacher and an excellent example of a prayer warrior. I should listen and learn more from him while he serves us…I intend to, I try, but as I have confessed on many occasions I am easily distracted from time to time. This Sunday was another example of my poor but repeated behavior pattern. Honestly it wasn’t my fault.
It started Wednesday, we were removing Christmas decorations. Restoring our sanctuary and fellowship areas to their pre-celebratory but properly refined Christian décor. I didn’t work in the sanctuary so it was Sunday before I saw the décor on the Communion Table (Alter I think is the proper term for those Catholic readers).
Actually, blame for my distraction partly belongs to my wife. She recently moved us from our traditional mid-far left seats, to a near front middle, claiming for us a new regular place. I am setting on the center aisle, with an unobstructed view of the Communion Table. Where last Sunday set a small Nativity scene and a lighted Advent wreath, now lay a beautiful crocheted table runner atop of which set a large open red letter edition Bible. The hefty Bible was flanked by two unlit candles, set in shiny brass stands and glowing brass tips. (Learned subsequently they are called candle followers). Then that thought, that initial distraction that I couldn’t shake. What would the pastor say if I ran up there and lit them on fire? What if we used those candles? The hunt down the rabbit trail had begun.
I have been attending church here for 12 years and I don’t think we have burned candles except on our Advent wreath more than twice. These same two beautifully decorated pure white candles have likely adorned our sanctuary for years, they have been present more often than any regular attendee. They have stood guard over that gilded bible countless services. Yet never lit, never used. I was setting in church praising God I wasn’t a church candle salesman, as it seems to me repeat purchases will be rare. When was the last time we bought candles was a question that suddenly seemed more important than Larry’s sermon. It wasn’t, but it would be.
If a candle isn’t burned I don’t really need more. Not like batteries that will go bad with time, I haven’t seen a candle with a best use by date yet. Candles don’t have models that need to be upgraded, there is no Candle 5.0 that preforms so much poorer than say Candle 8.0. How many do we have stashed in the back room with unused choir robes? How many do I have at home? I started listing them, some of which I considered special. I have been saving these candles, what if we started using them? How many years would they last? If I don’t use the candles we own at home who will? Then as always happens I can’t have these entertaining thoughts in church, a place of worship, without self-reflection.
Suddenly a simple question floated through my mind. Am I a candle, pure white, standing upright on a polished stand, guarding scripture but never turning a page, decorated, but never lit? Am I constantly found at the right places standing righteously, never used, never burned, and never in need of being replaced. Have I become a nothing more than Christian decoration?
Then a dangerous thought, a prayer I hope to pray someday soon but it’s a scary one. “Lord light me up, use me up, make me something you will need to replace. I am tired of being a decoration”
Think Larry has been saying that, I just have been distracted.
David
