Red light – Green light is a game I used to play as a youngster. Kind of a reverse tag. “It”, is the traffic light, this person turns his back to the crowd and says “green light” the other players move across the field. Freezing as the traffic light says “red light” and turns. If any player is caught moving by the person that is “it” on a red light they are eliminated or returned to the starting line. The first player to touch the traffic light without being caught moving wins. If the traffic light can catch all players moving, he wins.
I loved this game. I was a very good traffic light. Measuring each challenger’s moves between lights, quickly identifying that one player that was likely my enemy, the one most likely to challenge me. Then deciding just where that arc is, that point where I might want to give a challenger extra attention. How close I could let him get before I really have to deal with him. If someone entered that arc as I turned on the words “Red Light”, I would pause give them an extra long look. Letting them contemplate the fact I know where they are, that they have my attention. Staring at them I would slowly mouth the words “you will lose”, and give a look that shows both my confidence and a cocky smile. Sometimes they would flinch right then. Other times I still had to turn my back and catch them with their next move. Bravely turning my back “Green light”.
Today I remember that game. I also recognize I have been playing this game almost my whole life. “Green light” the game has begun. “Red light” I turn, I barely know how to play but I notice you. “What’s your name, who are you?, you covered a lot of ground awful quickly. “Mr. Black you say”. A grandfather of mine is gone, one I didn’t get the chance to know. His was called Big Daddy.
“Green light…. Red light” you are a cruel player, Uncle Bob is gone. “Green light…. Red light” Pa and Nanny, “Green light…. Red light” Grandpa Nelson. With the next cycle you change your path and claim some younger ones. Cousins Dwayne and Joyce. “Green light…. Red light” Some uncles that were too young to be gone. Wayne and Kieth. “Green light…. Red light” Kay and Ken… My favorite older cousin and her husband. “Green light…. Red light” you continue to take great aunts and uncles. Your speed across this field is impressive. “Green light…. Red light” You are getting closer. Over the next few yards you take three friends from my life and …one very young one, my son’s girlfriend. Seems just a few weeks ago that I turned again “Green light…. Red light” another great aunt is gone.
“Green light…. Red light” ….today…. Today, I pause to look you in the eye, you are now in my arc as you claimed a cousin. One closer to my age, one with who I spent a few Christmas’s, one who had cooler toys, was the first to get a girl friend and a car. Yeah I see you, you have my attention. I have noticed how your path has been direct at times, at others you detoured to the periphery almost out of my gaze. Sometimes you moved fast, at other times very slow. Not always direct or in proper order.
I see you there today. I know you are close, I understand the fragility of life, the age of my parents, their recent illnesses. I know how close you are standing to my 99 year old grandmother and to my pastor’s wife. I see my sister’s health struggles. Yes I know you might not take a direct or logical path with my next turn. My family is big and stretches from 1 to 99 years of age. The ground you cover next could include any. With my back turned you might reach out and attempt to tap me on the shoulder with your cold finger.
But right now I pause at my cousins funeral to look you in the eye Mr. Black, to wink, to confidently smile and say.. “I know how this ends and you are going to lose”
Green light.
