Well I was outed a couple of weeks ago, at church of all places. My wife confessed to most that would listen to her, a small close group that I, her faithful husband, was of all things a news junkie. She proclaimed that I listen to news commentary “all the time”. My first reaction was to protest, but I was setting there in my chair awaiting our Wednesday night lesson with iPad in hand watching a news video from FOX. I had second thoughts about the appropriateness of any protest. She’s right…
Today I read another in a long list of articles about the recent Supreme Court decision regarding the Defense of Marriage Act. Sometimes being well read brings clarity of thought settling your mind to a perceived or factual truth. Sometimes being well read only brings clarity to each side of the argument, leaving the well informed more puzzled than before. Trying to write something when you are more puzzled doesn’t offer the reader much clarity either. So today is more an exercise in clearing my mind, settling the issue for me, convincing myself rather than an attempt to persuade or convince the few readers of this blog.
I start any position with a few prejudices, I am conservative, likely more libertarian, Christian, married, Caucasian, male and haven’t yet decided in which order these most influence my thinking. I can’t deny that each has a strong influence. Not unlike the gravitational pull exercised within our solar system that keeps everything in its place. The moon influences the earth, the earth the moon, yet both is effected by and affects other planets, then the pull of the sun exerts its influence. All working to make the solar system what it is. So with that disclaimer let me attempt to offend everyone over the decision by the Supreme Court regarding DOMA. And yes its old news, but others as late as today are still cursing the Supreme Court.
In some ways this was a very simple case or at least the facts are. A Homosexual couple legally married in one state was denied tax benefits on their Federal Income tax afforded to heterosexual marriages. Such treatment was allowed under the DOMA. To obtain or protect a sizable tax benefit granted to other legal marriages the couple had to challenge the constitutionality of DOMA.
Of course the Libertarian in me applauded as marriage laws, divorce, child custody, and almost all family issues are enforced at the state level. Polygamy for example is only outlawed by federal statute for US territories and related federal laws do not apply to the states. The Federal government has a history of realizing that its powers regarding marriage and families are limited. Marriage is, and does remain, a state issue. As a libertarian I shouted halleluiah at the Supreme Court’s conclusion.
Next in my list of influencers is my faith. As a Christian I have been taught that certain behaviors are not acceptable. Sometimes this list seems very long. I shouldn’t lie, cheat, steal, divorce, get drunk, look at pornography, or commit adultery, those actions are definitely on that “shall not” list. I have been taught there is a code of behavior I should adhere to, and unlike going to the movies, dancing, playing pool, like it or not, homosexual activity is specifically mentioned as a behavior not condoned within what I believe to be Holy Scripture. I’ll will confess or agree that some rules seem arbitrary, antiquated or not applicable to the age I live in, I mean I really like bacon. I’ll also have to admit that some of the “shall not” items I have done and yet consider myself a Christian. Christ did teach that I should worry about cleaning myself up and not others, but as a Christian I can’t help but say I was disappointed.
My marriage has brought to me a love that cannot be equaled. I work only to obtain what possessions I have for the sole purpose of sharing them with the person i love. I cannot tell you why I love my wife or logically explain it, born or nurtured it exists. Our house, our car, what wealth I have, what health I have, all that I am is devoted to one person. I would consider any government act to restrict my devoted actions of passing what I have to my spouse or depraving me of value from that relationship afforded to others a contestable action. As a married person I celebrate the Justices’ decision.
I have had only a few close friends over the years; some were female, some male, some black, some Asian, some Hindu, some Christian, some gay and some straight. Why we were drawn to each other I don’t know, because in some instances we had very little in common, and in many ways we were very different. We did have shared experiences, work, school, church, or a chance encounter. Somehow each friendship was unique, each possessing some kind of affection, some deeper than others. Several friends had things in their lives that had they changed would have made me more comfortable, yet my black friends couldn’t change skin color and my Hindu friends were as committed to their faith as I am to mine. I pray for my Hindu friends, I hope they find truth, I pray for my gay friends. I want for them what I strongly believe is something better. I can disagree with my friends and yet they each remain as they are, friends. For the few gay friends I have I was both happy and sad.
Point is even though I am well read, or in my case a rightly accused junkie I have mixed emotions and thoughts. Here are some things I do know, I am not threated nor is my relationship with my wife threatened in regards to the Supreme Court over turning DOMA. Quite the opposite, DOMA did deny rights to a legally married couple. If rights can be restricted in one legal marriage they can be restricted in other instances of legal marriage including mine. Yes, maybe the states need to address and define legal marriage. Yes society has a lot to deal with but when it comes to solving issues I fear government more than any of my friends be they white, black, Mexican, gay, straight, Christian or Muslim.
That fact alone tells me the Justices got this one right, at least for my universe.
David
