Noticed while cleaning out my junk folder today and looked at the emails I have received in the last 36 hours that the cure for all my life’s issues has been waiting there for me in my junk folder. Short on cash, there were low interest loan offers galore. There was the latest investment advice from firms I have never heard of, promising returns that have to resemble those you get from stealing. Not to mention “Mr. Horad” that wanted to send me an inheritance, an entire fortune being offered to a random email address because he had no relative he could trust. There in my inbox were multiple solutions to all my financial woes.
Relationships, I had no idea there were so many women looking for a fat, aging, bald guy to date but there in my inbox was hottiegirl19, 20 and 21, a Facebook dating app, a Match.com offer, and a senior dating site for those over 50. There was a health insurance policy offer that I would likely need if my wife saw me open any one of those emails I just listed. There were two life insurance offers that DeAnn could use if I opened those more than once. Maybe I should just open the Christian Dating email.
Through the offers in my junk mail I could enhance my manhood, lose weight, and buy a TV for less than $10. I had career choices by the dozens, Ultrasound technician in 8 months was the one on top, wonder if they offer credit for life experience, I have watched numerous times. Another email offered to teach me a new language in 10 days never mind the fact that 55 years hasn’t been enough to teach me proper English.
Then I saw it, just below the email from HottieGirl19 an email in my junk folder from Norton Utilities offering to “effectively block spam” and protect me from all kinds of problems that find their way to my computer through unwanted email. Two thoughts ran through this brain, one.. would it “effectively block” future junk emails from Norton?……. Two, while we know Norton would not create spam containing viruses, worms, or spyware but….. are there instances when the party creating the problem and the party offering the solution are the same? My mind raced to Congress……from junk mail to junk legislation.
How about this… let’s just stop passing junk bills that are drafted hurriedly. That are unread, that contain things that most of the country really doesn’t want but were put in as bribes to attract enough votes to pass other legislation we can’t afford. Let’s just trash the junk bills and deal with the real issues with real solutions.
Junk email survives because too many keep opening it hoping this time the promises are real, we get junk bills through congress because we keep hoping this time will be different, this time, we think, congress can solve our problems… yeah that’s going to happen about the same time my check shows up from “Mr. Horad” or HottieGirl19 calls me.
About now I likely need one of the 5 jewelry store or flower offers. Better save that greeting card offer, do they have one that says “just kidding DeAnn!”?
Junk bills, wonder if Symantec has an app for that? We sure need an upgrade because no matter which operating system we have (Democrat or Republican) we get the same spam.
David.
